Nothing else was heard until this morning when I got this: Your situation is very different to mine so you can not compare. He said that he wasn't expecting things to be amicable and was thankful that I was being so rational. He has been trying to scare me. How many presents do you buy for your children. I shall start at the beginning. I am worried about where I can take my son when seeing him. Would you consider but a great idea to send a child????. Michele, Thanks Michelle, I am meeting him alone on Saturday to discuss this, and see if we can sort something out. I am looking for some help and suggestions about what to do if I allow my ex to see my son. Thanks for that. My solicitor has advised me to cease contact with him. You are right about not rushing it. How could he make an informed decision without telling him he was abusive. This is what I have found out from my children father. I would love to have someone else in my child’s life . Will be interesting to see what your husband makes of him when they meet up. We had bedwetting because of it andd all sorts of upsets - and ds is not a difficult or challenging kid so it really got to him. This page from their website might help. He dismissed this and said he wanted to see him. I have told my children that the man they class as their dad my husband who has been their for them is not their real dad. I also have an abusive ex who has no contact with my dds and I would not allow him contact whatsoever even though my eldest dd would like contact. My estranged father wants to get in touch, but I don’t want to see him My parents separated when I was young, and I stopped visiting him when I was 10: he made me feel unwanted. Guest Posted on 27-01-2012 at 11.38PM ... My ex now wants contact after 7 years of absence, he says I stopped contact without notice and took her away from him & that he had no way of finding me. I haven’t asked my son, he’s 10 and he’s been upset by his dad already because he was drunk on a call I arranged and he couldn’t remember how old he was, I don’t want to make that mistake again. Now My son is 10 years old he decides he want to have his son whenever he is in the country, whenever I explain that I can’t let my son go off with a stranger he send me nasty and abusive messages, any advice on my rights? Contact is for the benefit of the child and I can't see how very occassional contact with an abusive drunk would be of any benefit to your son, much more likely to be harmful as previously proven. My Ds was not allowed to be unsupervised with my Ds from when he was 6 weeks old due to his behaviour. My 11 yr old never met his biological father... Now asking questions, what do I. Ex wants to see daughter after years of no contact. absent father for 5 years now wants access: Hi recently the father of my 2 girls has decided he wants contact after having no physical contact for 5 years and no verbal contact in over 2 years. How can seeing a child you don't know once a month solve all of your problems and make you happy. Hiya, I am looking for some help and suggestions about what to do if I allow my ex to see my son. Father's taking no interest is far far more prevalent than mother's stopping contact for no reason so yeah take your broken heart right off this thread and stop excusing abusive behaviour just because you have daddy issues. If you did want to consider this as a possible safe and neutral environment to meet up, I've given you a link to find out more about them. Don't allow an Abusive stranger anywhere near your son.If my abusive ex showed up to see my dds he would be told to jog on and I would not consider whether my dds would want to see him. @angell84Of courses ex’s can be abusive . This is page 1 of 1 (This thread has 25 messages.). You should keep maintenance and contact separate.Go after him for maintenance through the legal channels (CMS, etc) if you can.Contact depends on your child - given that he is still abusive and has had no contact, you would have every right to tell him that you will only allow contact through a contact centre ( if your child wants it), and that is for your child's well-being. Thanks everyone for your help and advice. If Paul wants to adopt Freddie then I give him my blessing. She thought of herself through every aspect of the process.I have to tell you the damage it has done. The reason we never initiated adoption was because we were worried that the same thing would happen as with you Jo.